Cont'd "He turned it around and found something good!"

So I accidentally hit publish instead of save...and it actually posted. 9x out of 10, it has an error posting and I have to submit it again. Go figure :)

....As I was saying, this option of sending him away from me A) makes him want to do better so he can be around his family again and B) doesn't leave him mad at me while he is pouting/playing in time-out. Now I could care less if he is actually mad at me and thinks that it is my fault, but what I do care about is that he is actually thinking about what he did and why it was the wrong choice. 

Right before I decided to send him upstairs, his pouting fit resulted in him swinging his arm back hard onto the bathtub. This happened immediately after I told him that he was going to hurt himself, if he didn't quit acting out. And before I could even give my reaction a second-thought, I blurted out "Jared, Mama is not sorry you got hurt." He was shocked and then had a mini-temper tantrum and said that I was a mean Mommy. I explained that it's my job to teach him lessons that he will experience throughout life (he asks me all the time "Mama, is this one of those things that are just apart of life?" Lol). Furthermore (I explained) even if he says that I am mean or that I don't love him, I still have to push forward to teach him that lesson. 

I could tell he understood, but he just didn't feel quite ready to calm down. I asked him to go to his room and if he thought school was tough, I assured him that if he couldn't change his attitude, then he would see just how tough it would be to stay home. I envisioned some toilet-cleaning, weed-pulling, mopping etc. 😄👍😄👍😄

He cried (a more fearful cry) this time as he walked upstairs and kept asking if I was going to leave him at home (with Dada, not alone). I told him the power was in his hands. 

About 10 minutes later, I called him downstairs and his attitude had completely turned around. He came downstairs and said he was ready to go to school & even grabbed both bookbags to put them in the car (they get to hear 2 songs back-to-back if they do that). Jared had never done that before! 

Even Jack said "Mama, Jared turned it around and found something good! Just like Daniel Tiger!!!" Lol

One other thing I've learned from this book that has helped is that if they are not getting along well or one is aggravating the other, then I send them to one of their rooms together for 5 mins so they can be nice to each other.  They aren't allowed to come out until they are nice. The first time I did this, they came out 5 minutes later in a bad mood. So I doubled the time to 10 mins. After that, they still came out in a bad mood, but finally after another 20 minutes, they came out giggling! 😄

Now they have learned and it usually only takes them about 5 minutes! And it's not something you can fake :)