Does he know?

Disclaimer: I discovered yesterday that I have over 30,000 photos...1/2 of which are duplicates...some pictures are tripled, quadrupled etc. I spent hours (yes hours!) looking for certain pictures and finally decided I would just pick memorable ones for me and display even if they don't align with my post.

Does he know how proud I am of him and the Man he has become?
Remember I have known him since his dirty, hippy days...so I must confess the margin wasn't set very high! Lol! Seriously though, I will never forget hearing the Honor Roll students being announced over the speaker and hearing his name. For a second, I was convinced that they just needed him to come to the principals office immediately and had to interrupt the Honor Roll list announcement. :) 

Does he know how proud I am that he works out 3x a week, in an effort to "keep looking food for me, so I won't leave him for a younger model, lol?"

 Does he realize that I have already found that younger model and am currently in the process of settling the final pieces of that "trade-in?" Muwahahahaha :) No worries honey...I've got a special home for you and you'll fit right in with the others. This picture is a great example of how you've aged so-to-speak and it's time to trade in for the younger model.

Does he know that his boys love him so much and they can start giggling mid-day at the mere thought of Dada getting home & tickling them?

 

 

Does he know how happy it makes my heart when I tell the boys goodnight and that I'll send Dada up?  Then they immediately duck under their covers and start giggling uncontrollably, eagerly anticipating their Dada coming to tickle them. It's seriously the sweetest sound ever. It's that uncontrollable giggle that starts in your belly and literally starts to hurt from all the laughter. 

 

 Does he know that I'm so thankful that he is my opposite? Because quite frankly, I couldn't put up with another anal version of me. Dealing with my anal-ness is enough for both of us! 

Does he know that it drives me bonkers when his sweaty, dirty butt gets into our bed after I've washed our sheets & comforter? 

Does he realize that I now plan my cleaning of said sheets/comforter around his schedule to ensure he will be clean when he gets into our bed that night? Golf days are great because I know he will shower!

  

Does he know that he and Jared's gift of humor and love of being around the ones they love the most is one of my favorite traits of Joan's? While I complain of them being the "needy ones" in my life, the honest truth is that I don't know what I would do without it. 99.9% of the time, if you were near Joan, she would grab your hands or put her arm around you. She just genuinely enjoyed being around the people she cared about the most. It still blows my mind that she talked to all seven of her siblings every day! That's a lot of talking!

Does he know that I miss her too?

And that I want to talk about her, but I'm afraid of making him sad. But the fact is, he is sad and more than anything would like to talk about her. I was hesitant for days, but I'm so glad that I asked him tonight what his favorite memory of his birthday with his mom was. He immediately said when he was about 7 yrs old, she put together a birthday party at McDonald's and that Ronald McDonald, Grimace (the large purple dude) and Hamburglar was there. 


 

Does he know that sometimes a situation occurs and I wish she was here to share her wisdom? She was definitely always helpful at suggesting ways to put up with his punk a$$!!! Seriously though, I will literally have a conversation in my head between her and myself and ponder over how I think she would respond. I know she has to get a kick out of this and I'm sure sometimes think "Jenn! Really! I wouldn't say that." But I do try and envision what she would say to me.

 

 

 

Does he know that I've been putting up with his punk a$$ for 18 years? That's e-i-g-h-t-e-e-n l-o-n-g years!!! This is all in spite of the fact that his family stopped paying me to do so! Muwahahaha. 

 

 

Does he know that Joan was ***always*** on my side, regardless of whether I was right or wrong? The only exception to that rule is when I would harass her about returning her son to her. Then she would leave "my side" and tell me that she couldn't help that I made a bad decision, but that she wasn't taking "it" back, lol. Yep...she knew that even though, he looked cute...he was more trouble than he was worth (her words, not mine!) :)

She said this was just about the only time that you were a "good" child....

Does he know how truly awesome of a dad he is? I mean really, really, really know that he's one of kind and has a big 'ol heart. I'm blessed beyond words to have him as my husband and the father of my children. 

Does he realize how selfless he is with his time doing extra curricular activities with the boys?  He coached both of their soccer teams and was truly their biggest fan.  The funny part is that he would ask who their biggest fan was and they would always say Mama, lol. And Mama hardly made it to their games because of Joshua's schedule. 

 

  Does he know that I still grieve our 4th child that never was and that I'm still praying for an accident, rather a surprise from God? BUT more importantly, I sincerely appreciate his honesty. This is of course, after he finally stopped all the smack talk about...
"I don't want to change anymore diapers."
"I don't want to deal with anymore sleep deprivation."
"I don't want to 'deal' with my wife going through PPD...that is unless she correctly plans out her 'accident' and we get our $500gggggggg's!" 
See what I have to put up with??? However, I appreciated once he finally spoke from his heart and said that with Jack and Jared, he couldn't wait for the delivery. However, with Josh, he was so scared about losing one/both of us (considering each c/s gets riskier). He was also exhausted every day and hardly had enough energy for each of the boys, much less us. He seriously thought he would have to get a 2nd job, if we had a 4th and he already felt like he never had enough time with me....and while he would absolutely love our 4th child if God desired so, but that he already felt blessed with 3 healthy boys. I just gotta say that he's lucky he gave me such a chunky baby with lots of rolls to love on!

Here he is @ 9 weeks in my belly!!! 9 weeks!!!!

 

And here he is at 36 weeks in my belly (incase you couldn't tell where he was)!!!!

 

And here are all those rolls that I miss getting to squeeze...dang exercise!!!

Does he know how much I appreciate that he works (4) 10 hour shifts, so that my mom can keep the boys (2) days a week? I know it's hard to wake up at 5am when everyone else is asleep and not get home until close to 6pm every day. He always comes home with happy face and never brings work home with him. In fact, these kiddos follow his goofy lead & act silly too!

 

Does he know his personality is such a joy to be around? He always knows how to make people smile. Anytime I meet an acquaintance, the first thing they say about Chunk (well after apologizing that I have to live with him) is that he's hilarious. If you're ever down, he's the one who can snap you out of it. He might insult you (via smack talk, lol) but he will achieve his goal of getting you to laugh. 

 

Does he know that I do not know what I would do without him in my life? Well that is after I blew the $500ggggggggg's of life insurance that I would get! But seriously, I am a half cup empty type girl (although I'm working on seeing the optimist side) and he is the "I got a half full cup & you ain't got s*&%" type guy, lol. Seriously though, I went through a rough post-partum depression post-pregnancy with each boy. The image that stands in my mind during those dark days, is that he was my light. I remember being scared to my core that if he felt dark like I did, then we would be doomed. I needed his positive energy each and every day. I really feel for folks who have to go through depression and do not have someone there to pick them up. My mom was my hero, as she would let me take naps during the day while he was at work. But he was my knight & shining armor. He made me laugh when it was so the nighttime was so depressing, as I knew it was me and a wide-eyed boy, lol. I loved my boys, but taking away my regular sleep pattern was tough! 

***Chunk, do you know that I love you so much that it literally hurts thinking about you not being here one day?...oh and by the way, still pray that I die before you...especially so I can haunt you and prove that there are ghosts!!! You and the boys are truly the greatest blessing God has given me. I love you so much. Thank you for being an example to our boys of what a Man should be (although you could also set an example of putting the toilet seat down for the boys; that would take your manhood to a new level!). Seriously though, I love you with all of my heart. Thank you for choosing me to be your wife and the mother of your children. Happy 33rd birthday you old man!