my dearest jack and jared,

have i told you lately just how much i love you?

have i told you lately that i love you so much that it literally hurts?

 have i told you that loving a child is a love like no other? have i told you that i love you so much that i feel like my heart could explode at any second?

have i told you that you have brought and continue to bring so much joy and happiness to my life that i never could have fathomed was possible?

have i told you that you have made me become more selfless than i ever thought was possible (not by choice :) ha!)? have i told you that there is absolutely, positively nothing in the entire world that you could do that would change just how much i love you? have i told you that i am the luckiest mommy in the world since God chose ME to be YOUR mother?

 have i told you that when i think it's absolutely impossible to love you anymore than i already do, you say a new word, you mumble a new syllable, you smile, you giggle, you reach your arms out to me, and then my heart grows just a little more to accommodate that ever growing love that i have for you (hence, the heart explosion reference up above)?

have i told you that before having kids, no matter how people try to prepare you for the love that you feel for your child, that it's immeasurably more once you actually have a child? have i told you that the love of a child is a love like no other? have i told you lately how blessed you are to have your father as a dad? have i told you just how much his face lights up when you walk/crawl in the room? have i told you how much he misses you when he goes out of town? have i told you how much he's talked about coaching your little league teams since the day he found out i was pregnant?  have i told you that he was adamant about setting up your college fund NOW versus later so that you can go to college in 16-17 years? have i told you that the love of a child is a love like no other? have i told you that no matter how much you love your mama, dada, brother, sister?, grandparents, that although those loves are extremely powerful, they just cannot prepare you for the overwhelming love of your child? have i told you lately just exactly how much this mama loves her boys?

my dearest jack,
you are 3 days shy of being 27 mths old. you are learning new words everyday. you love airplanes and every time you hear one at the park, you stop and point to the sky and say "airpane! airpane! airpane! airpane!" until you can no longer see the "airpane." you are fascinated when your dad or i hold up our fingers and tell you a) your going to time-out for 2 minutes (we hold 2 fingers up...and then you quickly realize time-out is not a fun thing and throw a temper-tantrum) or b) tell you to pick 3 books (i hold 3 fingers up) to read before night-night time. you have made me realize exactly how many times i say "hey," considering that every.single.time. you walk in the room or someone walks in your room, you say "hhhhhheeeeeeeeyyyyyyyy!" w/ a big ol grin. it's the sweetest version of "hey" that i've ever heard in my life and i get to hear about 25 times a day. the past two mornings (pause: let me fill you in on the fact that you are NOT a morning person...and sorry-bud, but coming from experience, you won't grow out of it, ok-continue:), i have wanted to open your bedroom door to let some light shine in so you can slowly, peacefully wake-up and get up at your leisure (while i'm in the shower) hoping that you will get your 5 mins of wake-up/peace time before i need to change your diaper....and what do you do when i open the door???... immediately stand-up and say "hhhhhhheeeeeeeyyyyyyy!" don't be mistaken, it's not as if you gave me any warning that you were awake, you hadn't spoken a word on the monitor, but that's just my little booger....wanting to surprise me. you love playing hide and seek and chase. you still love going to the park everyday, you've accepted (about 90% of the time) that mama is going to jog first, THEN you get to play. you crack me up (although you don't know that AND i still discipline you) when you yell NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! to the dogs or Jared if they are taking something of yours, well heck, anything really...no matter what it is, it all of the sudden becomes some prized-possession of "yours" and how dare they play with it when NO ONE ELSE is. we still have the same night-night routine except now i read you 3 books and you say i love you when and only when i have turned out the light and started walking towards the door. then we say it back and forth and back and forth until you do not hear me saying it anymore  (ha! mama gets the last word in!). i love you jack more than any words could ever express.

my dearest jared,
you are exactly 10 mths old today. i cannot believe how fast time has flown by. you truly melt my heart. when i come home from work, the second you hear my voice, you start crawling towards me and if i DARE to turn my back or really do something other than walk towards you to pick you up, let's just say all heck breaks loose. you love to rub your bottom lip with your entire 5 fingers and it's the cutest thing. if i (or anyone really) starts doing it, you smile and start to do it to your lips. you love, love, love your big brother. you just light-up when you hear his voice and immediately start trying to get to wherever he is. he can make you laugh like no other. he loves to give you kisses, you don't really get what he's doing, but your cool with it. you are too busy  and can't be bothered with a diaper change. you melted mama's heart majorly tonight. i usually feed you your bottle in your bedroom around 7pm. recently, you wanted to start playing after you've drank most of it - just for a few minutes - well tonight, you popped out the bottle and just stared at mama. then you started saying "ma-ma." now you've said it multiple times before, but we sat there for about 6 minutes and i would say it, then you would say it.  this all occured while you were laying in my lap (that's HUGE for an active 10 mth old toddler - whose too cool to sit for 5 seconds!). we basically had a conversation back and forth but only using the word ma-ma. sometimes no sound would come out of your mouth, but you would just smile and look at me with those big blue eyes and it was truly one of the sweetest mommy-moments that i've had. i loved every second of it and thought i could do this all night...try me buddy. :) but after those 6 minutes, you drank some milk, did it again for about a minute, then after that you had enough and fell asleep. we have a good night-night routine as well. you usually don't fall asleep, but just get really sleepy and i lay you down on your side and you always very-quickly roll to your stomach, suck that thumb and basically don't miss a beat. i then wake-you up anywhere between 8:30 and almost 11:00 some nights and pick you up, immediately pop that bottle in your mouth, take you to our bedroom, lay your head on a pillow in my arms, cover your face/body up with a cover (so the gigantic spotlight AKA: your dada's Christmas present, doesn't wake you up) and you drink 4-5 oz in about 10 minutes, spit the bottle out and then i lay you back down in your crib. 99% of the time, you don't even open your eyes. i guess i could try to wean you of this feeding, but quite frankly, i enjoy it. you wake-up around 6:30 now. about a month ago, you were consistently waking up at about 5am....so mama and dada reallly appreciate this sleeping-in you've been pulling off...now if only you guys could sleep-in until say 10 or so, that would be swell :) you love feeding yourself now. you eat just about anything and everything. your eyes are pretty focused on us if we start eating w/out giving you a bite. you are basically a bottom-less pit, a healthy one at that though :) you are so sweet and you are learning so much everyday it seems. you just amaze me. as i told your big brother, i love you so much jared, words could never express how much.

just in case i haven't told you two lately...i love you both so much!

love mom :)