Hold still my heart

I have been trying to read How to Talk so Your Kids Will Listen and How to Listen so Your Kids Will Talk for about 2 years now. I'm praying that now, that I can actually apply what I am learning that I will actually finish the book! 

This example is what triggered such a sweet conversation between Jack and Jared this morning :):):)

 A few days ago, Jared said that a boy in his class wouldn't play any of his games, but would only play the games he wanted to play. One of the games was Angry Birds. My immediate response, ignored Jared's frustration/annoyance/hurt (not even sure what the feeling was) and stated that he liked Angry Birds, so I wasn't sure why there was a problem with playing an Angry Birds game.

That ended our conversation.

Here's how today's random conversation went:

Jack: Jared, what boy said he wouldn't play any of your games?

Jared: A boy named Max. He won't play my games. He will only play his games. 

Mama (interjecting with a tip from my book): Jared, I understand how frustrating that might be. Sometimes, I am not in the mood to do certain things, that on other days, I might feel perfectly fine to do them. 

Jared: Yea. Just like sometimes I ask Jack if he will draw me a dragon picture...sometimes he will and other times, he might be too tired to draw one.

Jack: Yea. I do LOVE to draw dragon pictures, but sometimes I just need to rest a little. 

Jared, when we get to school, I want you to show me who that boy is and I'm gonna ask him "WHY HE WON'T PLAY YOUR GAMES?" Then, I'll just see what he says. 

Jared: OKAY JACK!!!! I will show you who he is. 

Jack: Actually Jared, I want you to bring him to me. Okay? 

Jared: OKAY JACK!!!....Jack, are you.....doing this FOR ME...because I'm YOUR BROTHER?

Jack: Yes, because that's what Brothers do for each other. The big ones help out the little ones. 

Jared struggled coming up with another story, but he was so eager to tell another story so his big brother could solve another problem. 

My heart sunk. These 2 little boys who fight it out day-in and day-out were getting along and looking out for each other. In my rearview mirror, I could see a proud, concerned & protective expression on Jack's face and Jared's was beaming with pride in his big brother! As we pulled into the parking lot, the boys were gathering their book bags and Jack said "Okay Jared, show me Max." :)

This afternoon, when I picked the boys up...Jack was so excited to tell me that he talked to Max. 

Jack: I asked Max why he didn't want to play any of my brother's games. He replied "I don't know." I told him he "needed to come up with a better answer than that." (LOL! I hear Chunk tell the boys that all the time!).

Jared: YEA AND THEN HE TOLD MAX THAT WASN'T NICE AND THAT HE NEEDED TO PLAY ONE OF HIS BROTHER'S GAMES! AND MOM......GUESS WHAT?!?!?! HEEEEE DIIIIIIIIDDDDDDD PLAY ONE OF MY GAMES!!!" 

I was so proud of these boys! I told them we would celebrate them taking care of each other with a special dinner. Jared said spaghetti and I reminded him that that was his favorite, but not Jack's favorite. Jack piped in saying that he could have pizza and Jared could have spaghetti. 

I suggested watching a favorite movie during dinner. Jared said "I want Jack to pick it!"

This sweetness just melted Mama's heart!!! I sure do love these sweet angels that we've been entrusted with.

This is Joshua's favorite thing to do...if someone lays on the floor...he gets this eery laugh and then walks over, sits down (usually faces away) and starts bouncing on their belly (YES! It hurts when 30+ lbs bounces on your belly) and starts laughing uncontrollably!

But don't get fooled...they were TURDS!!!! when we got home. Or maybe I should say "they were back to normal." Jack harassing Jared and vice versa. I almost postponed their "celebration dinner" due to their TURD-O-METER going overboard. Sheesh! 

Another sweet moment: On the way to pick-up dinner, Chunk told Jack that it was too late to sign-up for soccer. A couple of months ago, Chunk asked the boys who wanted to play soccer. Jared exclaimed that he wanted to, and Jack declined. Fast-forward to this past Saturday at the Fall Festival on the soccer fields and Jack wanted to play. When Chunk broke the news, I watched his face go from excitement, to pure dissappoitment and he even got teary-eyed. We were both shocked because we warned him that this was his only time (a couple of months ago) to decide if he wanted to play. 

The boys had asked earlier if they could get out to pick up the dinner. I told them yes. After we arrived (shortly after Jack got the bad news), I was 2 feet away from his face and asked if he was coming in). He just looked at me.

I asked again; he stared.

I asked again; he stared.

I demanded a 4th time for an answer and he said "I just want to be silent right now." I said okay and said I was sorry that he was sad about soccer. 

Note: This boy strives to do good, follow rules, obey adults etc. The fact that he just stared at me when I was asking him a question shows HOW upset he was about this. 

Anyway, 5 minutes later we walk out and I see a beautiful scene....Jack had crawled into the passenger seat and He and Chunk were embraced in a full-on hug. When I opened the passenger door, Jack had a grin on his face (because he was in Mama's seat). 

Good job Chunk! He healed my big boys heart. Although I'm glad Jack's getting this lesson....it will always suck to watch him suffer/learn through the "Mama goggles!"